8 Tips for Parenting With Depression

If left untreated, depression can affect your ability to care for yourself and your kids, and this can have a lasting effect on your children's lives. Therefore, it’s important to get help. Parenting can be a tough job under the best of circumstances. Adding depression into the mix can make parenting feel overwhelming. Balancing family with depression can pull you in two different directions. The 8 tips that I will mention in this video will help you manage depression, and once your depression is properly managed, you will feel better. Once you start feeling better, you can then be the parent that you want to be.

Seek Out Help

Asking for advice from friends and family members can be helpful, especially if they have kids too and if they have gone through something similar. Family and friends can give you lots of tips for coping with depression.

However, one thing to note is that depression affects everyone in different ways, and what works for one person may not work for another. One of the most important things you can do is to start on an effective treatment by contacting a mental health provider for an evaluation. Your doctor might recommend an antidepressant, talk therapy, or a combination of the two to improve your symptoms. Managing your depression will not only help you – it could improve your children's mood and well-being as well.

Forgive Yourself

Balancing family with depression can require a lot of juggling. If one (or more) of those balls falls from time to time, don't be too hard on yourself. Recognize that you're doing your best. No one expects you to be perfect. Nobody is perfect. Remember that more than 17 million adults have depression, and many of them are parents, just like you. Consider yourself part of a tribe, forgive yourself, and move forward.

Find the Right Balance

When you're dealing with parenthood and depression at the same time, especially if you also work, you may have little time left in each day to nurture yourself. Please keep in mind that self-care is essential for managing depression. You can make sure that you are taking care of yourself by eating a nutritious diet, getting enough sleep, exercising (you are probably thinking that you don’t even have the time to do things that are much more important, how will you fit exercise in your schedule? Don’t worry, you don’t have to exercise for an hour; 10-15 minutes of exercise every day is sufficient), and by finding time to do things you enjoy. Finding the right balance can help you cope better with your symptoms and the demands of parenthood.

Find a Support Network

Depression can be so much harder when you try to handle it alone. Although depression may make you feel isolated, you have to remind yourself that your friends and family want to help – and that they may be intimately familiar with depression too. Don’t be afraid to turn to people who can care for and support you. Your support system could be made up of friends, siblings, neighbors, your partner, and co-workers. If you don't already have people whom you can rely on, don’t worry, you can join a depression support group, either online or in person. In these depression support groups, you'll meet people who've been in your shoes and who can offer advice that they've learned from managing their own depression.

Use Shortcuts When You Need Them

You don't have to be a supermom or a super dad every day. Don't push yourself too hard when your energy and mood are low. Hire people to mow the lawn, clean your house, go grocery shopping for you, and do other household chores if you can't handle them yourself. If you need a temporary break from your kids, ask family or a friend to babysit for the night. Everyone needs a break every so often – this will help you refuel and reset so you’re better able to take on your everyday responsibilities.

Adapt Activities to How You Feel

You may not always be up to doing activities like playing tag or taking your kids to the park, especially when you're exhausted from balancing work and family with depression. This is okay. There are a lot of low-key things you can do and still spend time together as a family. For example, you can read your kids a story or put out a few art supplies and let them get creative while you cheer them on from the couch.

Teach Your Kids How to Help You

You don't have to tell your children all the details of your depression, but you should at least let them know that you sometimes feel sad. Then, when you are down, you can ask for their help. Many kids enjoy pitching in, especially when they know their efforts are needed and appreciated. You might have them assist with light chores like washing the dishes, setting the table, or cooking dinner to give you a break. Kids love “playing house” and emulating their adult role models – and activities you view as chores may seem like fun make-believe to them.

Get Out of the House

Being isolated can make you feel even worse when you're depressed. Try to get out of the house. It's good for your kids too. Go to the park, do storytime at the library, or join a playgroup of children your kids' ages. These activities will give you a chance to spend time with other parents. Just having that human connection can make you feel better, and you might find someone else who has been through the same struggles with depression.